I know that I’m overweight. Morbidly obese is the title that would be on my chart. I have tried many diet, none that worked. About a year an half ago I decided I was going stop spending money on diet programs and get a hold of this myself. 52 lbs later, I still have a long way to go. 52..that’s a lot…but it’s merely a fraction of what I need to be a healthy weight. Heck to be overweight and not obese is a long road.
I am usually proud of my accomplishments that I took control and with the help of myfitnesspal.com and being on the proper medications for my Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis and Diabetes, I am slowly losing the fat. I know that if I moved more it would come off easier and to be honest 52 lbs ago, I could barely move.
Jerry and I went to the zoo two years ago and it was scary. I was out of breath, my legs burned from even standing too long and by the end of our experience I just want to cry and ball up into a blubbery mass. Good thing that’s not my M.O. This year when we went to the zoo, I could walk around and it was great. I needed a few breaks but not every 10 ft like it seemed I needed before. This summer, interpreting for an elementary student, proved to me that I am capable of things physically that I couldn’t do a year ago.
So why am bringing all this out today? It’s all because of body image. Yes, I know I’m large. I think I have a handle on carrying myself so that I don’t waddle or oaf around. Today, however, I just feel it. I feel fat. I am at the lowest weight in probably 4-6 years and I feel fat. That was a word that Jerry told me I shouldn’t say. I agree that it’s a negative word but sometimes you have to call a rose a rose, and a duck a duck.
Today’s challenge is going to be that I just let it be and don’t freak out about things. I’m going to take extra time with my hair and getting ready for our evening out at the Jaguar Scrimmage. Yes, I’m going out in public,I don’t have agoraphobia, in fact I crave human experiences with others. I’m going to think about good work I have done and put on my big girl panties and get ready 🙂 I don’t think that pun was intended….