Feeling sorry …

I’m having a hard time keeping it together.  MIL is back in the hospital.  More blood transfusions and trying to get the fluids off her without damaging her kidneys.  Congestive heart failure sucks!!  I’m having a hard time dealing with it all.  I know it’s depression but I refuse to handle it with medicine.  I know what the cause of it is and there isn’t much I can control.  That’s the part that is bothering me.  I can’t control it!  Not that I want to control the world…wait..hmm..nah…

So, I guess I need to find ways to relieve the stress so I can clean my house, take care of my health and be generally happy like I once was.  I thank God everyday that I have Jerry in my life as he is my rock.  I know that he is as miserable as I am and I guess that’s what keeps us clinging to each other.  Misery loves company right?

I hate to dump all this on my blog as it’s rather personal but I need to type it out, not for everyone to throw me a pity party but for me to use this medium as a cathartic method of “letting go”.

One Reply to “Feeling sorry …”

  1. Yes, that “letting go” part is the one that always gets me too. I’ve had many, many conversations with both Tess and Mike about it, because, like you, I’m driven to distraction by the things I cannot control. Naturally, emotions top that list, so I’m always trying to decide that the way I feel “isn’t logical,” as if I’m a Vulcan or something. *sigh* Let go of what you can.

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