Keeping faith…

Mom had her appointment yesterday and found out that it’s Stage Four liver cancer.  The doctor is going to run a PET scan to find out where the cancer originated as she isn’t convinced the liver is the only “hot spot”.  She has a mammogram tomorrow and then her PET scan Monday.  She mentioned getting a port put in also. She didn’t know if that was for her eventual chemo or what.

I asked Mom how Dad was doing with all of this and she said that he is on the mend but that he went to see his oncologist and they are doing a PET Scan on him as well.  Apparently his kidney was so full of cancer that the oncologist isn’t convinced that he doesn’t have some “hot spots” as well.  I asked mom if they made PET Scan tables double so they could have it together and the joke went over her head.  Ah well….that’s what I get for trying to use humor to make life simpler for me.

I did pretty good today just setting all my internal feelings aside and getting through the work day, although I’m exhausted.  I told people that I couldn’t talk about things until after the kids were gone or I’d never make it.  They were polite and understood.  I really appreciate the caring and concerning and hope I didn’t step on any toes by telling people that I just couldn’t talk about things right now.  Doesn’t mean that after the kids were gone I didn’t open up to a cherished co-worker and do a little crying. 

Mom keeps telling me it’s the circle of life and I completely understand but it doesn’t make it any easier right now.   I do not want my parents to suffer at all, and I pray for that for them.  Heck, I don’t want anyone to suffer!

Leave a Reply