You know what? I’m okay….

My dad passed away on August 5th.  I’m sad about it all but I was prepared for it.  He had been sick for a long time.  In and out of the hospital for the past two years.  I thought he was getting better after my mom passed away in April of this year.  He seemed to be getting stronger for a couple of weeks.

Let me back up here a little.  Dad sheltered us.  He didn’t tell us things because he thought it was better that upsetting us.   He knew that Mom’s time was short but never let us know that until after she passed away.  He also never told us the full truth of what the doctors said.  We know this because during his last stay at the hospital he got mad because on of the doctors had told us that the cancer had spread to his liver.  I’m sure he knew that because Mom had that kind of cancer that we would put two and two together.  I’m not mad at him for sheltering us.  It was his way of protecting his family.

After Mom’s death, Dad was moving in the right direction.  He was getting around better, able to fix his own meals (kinda) and stuff.  He started chemo after that and seemed to get a boost of energy from that.  It was a facade though.  The chemo didn’t work, in fact the cancer continued to grow and spread.  It also effected the only kidney he had left.  His poor little body couldn’t keep up.   His weight kept dropping and at the end I doubt he weighed 100 pounds.

I flew up  here on July 7th. I’m so happy that I had that time with him.  We laughed at his shuffle walk, watched Deadliest Catch together and had some great conversations.

I will miss Dad.  Although he is with me everyday.  His humor will always be with me.  I can’t help being goofy, silly and punny, just like he was.  So yeah…I’m doing okay 🙂

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